Jokes

Walking Economy

A guy is walking down the street with his friend. He says to his friend, "I'm a
walking economy."

His friend replies, "How's that?"

"It's like this -- my hair line is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation,
and the combination of these factors is putting me into a deep depression."

Psychology

The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and
was giving an oral test.

Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose
a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute,
then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"

A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "He's probably a basketball
coach?"

Teacher & Student

Teacher: "Alan, give me a sentence starting with 'I'.".

Alan: "I is...."

Teacher: "No Alan. you must always say, 'I am'."

Alan: "Okay, I am the ninth letter of the alphabets."

Frozen Turkeys

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't
find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

How He Did It

A father brought his son into the doctor because the boy had a matchbox car shoved
up his nose. All the while the doctor was trying to remove the car, the father kept
saying "I don't know how he did it!" Finally the doctor removed the car, and the
father and son left.

A few hours later, the father came back with the matchbox shoved up HIS nose. He
told the doctor, "I know how he did it!"

Assistance

One day a priest was walking down the street. He saw a little boy
on the front porch of a house trying to reach the doorbell. The boy was
standing on his tip toes and jumping up and down, but he still couldn't
reach the bell. The priest walked over to him and asked, "Do you need
some help?"

The young boy said yes so the priest rang the doorbell. Then the priest
said, "What now?"

The little boy shouted, "Run!"